I’ve been thinking a lot this month about my friends and family members who have strong water signs in their chart; sun, moon or rising sign in Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. I’m included in this list being a Scorpio sun with a Cancer moon. These are the signs with deep sensitivity to the outer world. Pisces can easily lose their energy to anyone in pain. Cancer gives it away to anyone in need of nurturing or mothering. We meet the world first through our feelings. We are sensitive, empathetic, compassionate people. So this world is not always easy for us to deal with, especially this particular world, in this particular time. With the sun in Pisces this past month and with several planets aspecting it we have been hit doubly hard with that sensitivity. So it came as no surprise really, when I once again found myself in the pool at the gym with my water aerobics class. Now, this is a new gym, a new pool, and a new class since my insurance company dropped my other membership. So I knew no one. But still that same old judgmental mind kicked in when two people were laughing hysterically and talking loudly during the entire class. Some of you might remember this scene from a previous blog, (www.mygentlemusings.wordpress.com) entitled “Lessons from the gym.” I thought I had conquered that particular lesson, but here I was in a new place with the same old reaction. I recognized my sensitivity to noise, to distractions and I knew I wanted to have a different response. I tried Pema’s mantram, “Just like me”….trying to remember there were times when I was insensitive. It didn’t work. I was still rather pissed off. Then I sort of saw how my energy had dispersed outward, as water signs are prone to do. We lose it easily. I took a really deep breath and visualized myself breathing my energy back into myself. I asked myself, silently, of course, “What would happen if I just paid attention to my own energy, if I just focused on how my body feels in this water, if I just breathed myself back into myself? Amazingly I lost almost all of my sensitivity to the outside environment. I just fully inhabited my own body. I know this isn’t rocket science, but the shift was pretty dramatic. The noise in the room visibly diminished, at least to my ears.
So I’ve been pondering this month the challenge it is for us sensitive types to stand in our own being. How do we create a boundary between the outside environment and ourselves without shutting down? Shutting down is easy for most of us, but I don’t really want to go around clenched in and constricted, keeping out the good stuff as well as the disturbing. For me, when I breathed my energy back into my body I felt strong and grounded. I acknowledged, “this is me.” I was still aware of the energy in the room, but it didn’t draw me out of myself. Discernment is difficult. What is mine and what isn’t? It’s one of the important practices for water signs. Where does my energy go when I’m triggered, when I’m worried, when I’m anxious? Can I hold onto it?
Being such strong compassionate types we can sometimes just let everyone in and then wonder where our energy went. I remember a story that one of my favorite writers, Danielle LaPorte, relayed. She was talking to her teenage son who had just suffered his first heartbreak. She said to him, “Always keep a gate on your heart. Then you stand there and you get to decide who enters and who doesn’t.” I thought that was a great story because again, discernment includes knowing when someone else’s energy will not support our well being. The Buddha is reported to have said to someone, “Never throw anyone out of your heart. You may have to through them out of your house, but never out of your heart.” Some people deserve to come in, some come in and then need to leave, and for some we need to lock that gate as tightly as we can…..but with a loving heart.
“Minding my own business is a full time job.” Byron Katie
I would paraphrase, “Holding onto my own energy is a full time job.”
“Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequencies rather than absorbing the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence.” Barbara Marciniak
“You’re not here to carry everyone else’s stuff. They came here fully equipped with their own team of cosmic sherpas just like you did.” Sherryl Frauenglass
“Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.” Kimberly Jones
Just for fun:
“There are over 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every damn one of them.” Anonymous