Well, as predicted in my last blog, the learnings around anger continue to come my way. After the first two incidents…….three more appeared. So now I’m really focused on what all of this means to me and how I operate in the world. So far this is what I’ve gleaned.
- The new attitude of “indifference”, the practice of loving whatever comes and the readjustment of my focus on my higher self, …..these I discussed in my last blog. Since then:
- A re-commitment to courageously speaking up about how their behavior affected me. In two of the cases where friends were angry with me I spoke about how I felt and asked if there was something we needed to work out between us that might be causing the outburst. I felt resolved once we had processed the interaction.
- I believe the above approach is helpful because I always want to be aware of how my actions affect other people, but when I examined why I was habitually questioning if they were upset with me over something, I realized that once again I was more concerned with their feelings about me than I was in just stating, “I don’t want to be treated that way by my friends,” and then stating clearly what is acceptable behavior. As someone once said to me, “We train people how to treat us by what we accept and what we expect.”
- A strong determination to be much more mindful about boundaries. I totally overstepped my bounds with two people I love very much. I really need to get this lesson because it keeps coming up and I want so much to be aware of what is appropriate and what is not and not hurt the people I love. There are all kinds of reasons why this is such a big issue for me, but nevertheless I need to pull up my big girl pants and get on with it.
- Remembering that I always get a deeper understanding of things when I sit in silence, align to my Soul and ask for clarity. In one case I realized I still had some angst about one of the people who was angry with me even though she apologized and offered to process whatever I needed to in order to get clear with me. In meditation I could feel my appreciation for her willingness to work this out and her ability to take ownership of her part in the interaction. When I could connect with that….the angst disappeared.
After the month of outbursts I read the astrology post from Chani Nicholas that described the energies that were going on at the time of these incidents. I’m always amazed to see how accurate astrology can be….and of course, it’s always convenient to blame our moods, etc. on the planets, but in any case this post was particularly relevant to what I had just gone through.
Your journey might get a little rocky this week. Your need to “speak up and tell it like it is” might become too tense to tame. You might have to risk some of your security in order to reclaim some freedom. But this could help you break new ground. This could help you see your path more clearly. This could help you to harness your energy and move it in the direction that you most wish to go.
Take the risk. Revealing ourselves can be a spiritual
experience. Telling the world who we really are requires
that we have enough faith in ourselves to get through any
response we might hear.
This week starts and ends with abrupt squares to Uranus,
the planet of upheaval and change. The first is between
Mercury and Uranus on Monday. These two aren’t
at terrible odds with one another thematically –
they both speak to ways of receiving and
transmitting information. But squares cause
friction. This one is about being able to speak
about and to discord. Mercury, the messenger, is still
in Cancer, the sign that deals with home, family, needs
and nourishment. Uranus, the planet of rebellion,
upheaval and revolution is in Aries, the sign of the courage
it takes to become an individual.
Still working on it!!!!
“We cannot live in a world that is not our own,
In a world that is interpreted for us by others.
An interpreted world is not home.
Part of the terror
Is to take back our own listening,
To use our own voice,
To see our own light.” Hildegard of Bingen